How to get buzzed off your balls on cocoa powder

I've consumed chocolate for years (5 years). I drink it straight, without sugar or milk, like a manly man. I drink it like Montezuma the Awesome did when he ruled over Mexico.

I've never had more than 15 cups of hotness. But I can tell you what happens to the body when it turns a sexy beast after consuming the bean of darkness. It's like getting drunk on chocolate. Have you ever drunk a gallon of milk? You feel milk-drunk. But chocolate is different, oh yes...  It's like a beautiful concoction of getting horny and happy. One time I wondered if there was ecstasy pills in my cocoa. But no. It was just cocoa.

At 1 Cup:  You feel so relaxed
At 2 Cup:  You feel so smooth and warm.
At 3 Cup:  You are beginning to get excited at things
At 4 Cup:  You are beginning to More excited. Maybe you feel like running or jumping or humping.
At 5 Cup:  You obtain euphoria and extreme energy. Heart beats deep. Body is hot.
At 6 Cup:  You obtain insight and stare off into the distance: "Who am I?" You ask. "I am nothing but choco"
At 7 Cup:  You begin to vibrate.
At 8 Cup:  You begin to have ambitions in life. "I want to become an important person in life."
At 9 Cup:  Headaches begin. You are hungry.
At 10 Cup:You are now having fierce headaches.

That's a rough outline of what happens when you're on chocolate.
But keep in mind the thresholds:
3 Cups gets you buzzed
5 Cups gets you relatively motivated
7 Cups gets you very euphoric.
9 Cups makes you mental.

Some day I will try the 15 cups and supplement with Advil to bypass the so-called "Chocolate Headaches" which soon arise.

How to calculate Chocolate? E=mc^Chocolate.

I calculate my choco consumption by pure cocoa powder. (Cocoa Solids, not fat)

Bars have significantly less cocoa solid in them than the straight powder, unless you get a massive bar that's 80% cocoa, you're unlikely to match a cup of hot cocoa that has 10 grams of pure cocoa powder. (2 tablespoons). The best source of maxing your cocoa intake is through the powder, which at most grocery stores will be Hershey's. However, some stores may contain Ghirardelli cocoa powder.





A box of Hershey's contains approx 225 grams. (45 tbsp)

A Standard Cup of Hot Cocoa = 1 tbsp = 5grams
If you have 1/4th the box of Hershey's, you would be having about 10-12 cups of Choco.






How to Calculate your Cocoa from Bars and other sources

These are very rough approximations and for Cocoa Solids Only.
HOT COCOA: 1 tablespoon = 5grams
CHOCOLATE CAKE: many recipes have 30grams per cake, or about 5grams per slice.
CHOCOLATE MILK: it's got very, very little cocoa. Likely 2grams or per cup.
MILK CHOCOLATE BAR: an extra large bar (3.5oz/100g) might have about 7grams
70% DARK CHOCOLATE BAR: an extra large bar (3.5oz/100g) might have about 25grams






I have never had more than 15 cups. (15 tbsp or 75 grams)

There will be a day where I'll drink more than 15. If you have personally gobbled over 15tbsp (75grams) of Cocoa Powder, please comment below.

POWER OF CHOCOLATE!

What could possibly happen?

You might be wondering:

    "What would happen if I had 10 cups of hot choco?"
    "Would I die?"
    "Would I gain super powers?"
    "Would I see God?"
    "Would I become smarter?"
    "Perhaps I would get a much better sex life..."


I'll tell you right now: I have consumed lots of chocolate.
    For 10 cups, you will become slightly smarter and have more sexual stamina.
    However, you will not die or gain super powers. As for seeing God, I was able to make out an     outline of something at sea, so I assume God looks like a sea vessel or octopus of some sort


But who has ever tried 20 cups of choco?
Not I...
Not yet.

The last time I tried, I ate old chicken and acquired food poisoning simultaneously, thus terminating my venture.


Yet the time will come again to try 20 cups.
I will document it here...